Alcorn Mcbride V+ series, User Manual

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Welcome 1-5
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Plugging In the Product
The plug on this Product represents the latest thinking of the electrical industry's
Plug Mutation Group, which, in a continuing effort to prevent consumers from
causing hazardous electrical current to flow through their appliances, developed
the Three-Pronged Plug, then the Plug Where One Prong is Bigger Than the
Other. Your Product is equipped with the revolutionary new Plug Whose
Prongs Consist of Six Small Religious Figurines Made of Chocolate.
DO NOT TRY TO PLUG IT IN!
Lay it gently on the floor near an outlet, but out of direct sunlight, and clean it
weekly with a damp handkerchief.
Warning When you are laying the plug on the floor, do not hold a sharp object
in your other hand and trip over the cord and poke your eye out, as this could
void the warranty.
Operation of the Product
Warning
We manufacture only the attractive designer case. The actual
working central parts of the Product are manufactured in Japan. The instructions
were translated by Mrs. Shirley Peltwater of accounts receivable, who has never
actually been to Japan but does have most of “Shogun" on tape.
Instructions
– For results that can be the finest, it is our advising that:
NEVER to hold these buttons two times!! Except the battery. Next taking the
(something) earth section may cause a large occurrence! However. If this is not
a trouble, such rotation is a very maintenance action, as a kindly (something)
from Drawing B.
Warranty
Be it hereby known that this Product, together with but not excluding all those
certain parts thereunto, shall be warranted against all defects, failures and
malfunctions as shall occur between now and Thursday afternoon shortly before
2:00, during which time the Manufacturer will, at no charge to the Owner, send
the Product to our Service People, who will emerge from their caves and engage
in rituals designed to cleanse it of evil spirits. This warranty does not cover the
attractive designer case.
Warning It may be a violation of some law that Mrs. Shirley Peltwater has
"Shogun" on tape.
(Now that we have your attention, for our real warranty, please visit our website.)