Synopsis
To: Golden Marvellous Productions
From: Shao Ting, genius
RE: KUNG FU CHAOS COMEBACK!
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I got a real busting blocks picture for
you this time! It has romance and violence
and ninjas, and it’s better than all those
rubbish Hollywood movies put together!
Hero is in a tavern eating and waiting
for a blind date when suddenly a clan of
Ninjas attack! Hero fights Ninja Clan with
cunning but accidentally smashes up the
whole tavern during the fight and has a big
showdown with tavern owner! Now the police
want to throw our hero in prison!
Hero think things cannot get worse, but
hero is wrong! Hero’s blind date is in fact
a beautiful princess who has been kidnapped
by the Ninja Clan, and they want money! Our
hero is penniless underdog and so braves
the Ninja Forest to rescue princess. After
spectacular fighting against the boss of the
Ninja Fortress, hero rescues the princess
but discovers that up close she is quite
ugly!
But all is not lost because our hero, who
needs money to live, hears about a tomb
full of gold! Hero travels to spooky tomb
to “borrow” the gold so he can pay the
police to leave him alone!
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Inside tomb, hero fights Ninja Clan who
are also after the money! Hero fights
fearlessly and bravely and kills the
guardian of the tomb! Now he can borrow
all the money for himself!
But instead of paying police, hero
journeys to the west in a big ship in
search of peace, quiet, and fast cars!
But then Ninja Clan captures ship and
want borrowed money back! How unfair!
But Ninjas cannot steer ships and so they
smash ship into iceberg! Hero fights for
last lifeboat but it already has a woman
and baby in it! But wait! That’s no woman!
Hero beats up unsavory man-in-skirt and
rows to a nearby lost island!
After many days alone, hero builds a
raft to escape the island. Suddenly
Ninjas attack! They want hero’s raft to
escape island but are too stupid to make
their own! Hero defeats Ninjas, dodges
huge dinosaur (everyone likes dinosaurs,
right?) and fights an evil diseased monkey
before he sets sail for the big city!
In the big city he discovers that Ninja
Clan has many relatives! They come after
hero but then UFOs attack (everyone likes
UFOs, right?) and so hero finally beats
Ninja Clan forever and saves the world
after the most spectacular fighting scene
in history of moving pictures!
KUNG FU CHAOS
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KUNG FU CHAOS
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